This is a long time coming for Obama, who publically favored same-sex marriage as he ran for Illinois State Senate in 1996 and claimed that his feelings on the issue were “evolving” in 2010, shortly after he was sworn in as president. While Obama shared his opinion on this controversial issue in interviews in the past, he has evaded answering the question completely until now. Obama commented that he now “personally” believes gay and lesbian Americans should have the opportunity to marry whomever they want. This personal standpoint recognizes friends, advisors, and members of the military as having monogamous same-sex relationships, causing him to adhere to the idea of equality rather than religion or tradition. Nevertheless, he prefaces this by offering that individual states should determine the laws on the issue and that he will not yet go forward on a U.S. policy on gay marriage. Regardless of personal opinion or political platform, this topic on same-sex marriage will be a major debate in the Presidential election in the next few months to come.

As an Illinois Civil Union Attorney, I am proud to live within a state that has already begun the process of recognizing civil unions. As recent as June 1^st, 2011, our very own state of Illinois allowed the Civil Union Act to come into effect.  In addition to this important event, I believe that Wednesday, May 9^th will be remembered as a date when the President of the United States of America made a public statement supporting the marriage rights that so many of our citizens have longed for. As the year continues on and political debates become more frequent, I am looking forward to hearing our nation address this heated issue of marriage and equality.

Michael C. Craven is an experienced family law attorney in Chicago. He is a partner in the law firm of Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP, one of Illinois’ largest and most respected family law practices. Mr.Craven concentrates in family law, including civil unions, domestic partnerships, estate planning and child custody. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM) and CPA. For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Civil Unions Illinois.

Once almost completely unheard of, custody battles involving pet ownership are becoming a reality of the 21^st Century.  As increasingly more civil unions, domestic partnerships and same-sex marriages break apart, it is not surprising that the number of custody fights over who gets a couple’s dog, cat or bird is also on the rise.  A recent survey of 1,600 matrimonial lawyers revealed that at least a quarter of respondents saw a definitive increase in pet custody cases since 2001—with some attorneys handling a 15 per cent increase in just the last few years alone.

As Sue Manning of the Associated Press writes, pets used to be considered mere “property,” something to be “divvied up like furniture during divorce proceedings.”  But things are rapidly changing, she points out.  Indeed, in 2011, attorney David Pisarra and pet consultant Steven May of California teamed up together to write a book on this trend entitled “What about Wally?” which discusses how to co-parent a pet with an “ex.”  (Both men had previously been involved in separate custody battles over pets, although Pisarra had represented May during his proceedings and the two became friends.)  They discovered that while few laws exist on this subject, nevertheless “a shifting consciousness” is emerging that allows pets to be “given greater consideration under the law.” In Illinois, there are currently divorce lawyers working towards the passage of laws that address this issue called “companion pets.”

These days, both men and women are no longer embarrassed to seek pet ownership or co-ownership.  At the same time, judges may be recognizing people’s emotional attachment to their furry friends.   Formerly, divorce proceedings only referred to “canine” or “feline” issues when kids were involved, as most attempts were made to keep the pets with the children.  Today, however, it is not unusual for a settlement to provide “pet visitation rights” to both sides involved in a proceeding.   Of course, if the partnership or marriage being dissolved contains multiple pets–like two dogs, three cats, and a bird for example–it wouldn’t be all that shocking if it takes slightly more time for both parties to work out visitation or “co-parenting” rights.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

Tips to a Long Marriage

With nearly one out of two marriages ending in divorce, researchers have been concentrating on what are the “secrets” to a long-lasting marriage.  Surprisingly, the results of these studies seem to debunk what psychologists and researchers had previously found.  In general, there seems to be much agreement that couples that have the highest expectations for the institution of marriage itself, will end up with the best marriages.  That’s because these couples not only care deeply about their marriages, but they are willing to work and fight for them, according to Dr. Bonnie Maslin, well-known psychotherapist and author of the acclaimed books “The Angry Marriage” and “Picking Your Battles.”

Professionals studying marriage today tend to focus on the communication styles of marriage partners.  They often videotape thousands of couples over time, observing such reactions as positive and negative facial expressions, body language and comments.  A few years ago, “The Early Show” on CBS (http://bit.ly/1qNxeT) examined traits of successful marriages that still hold true today. The research including a study by Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington, who found that when a marriage is strong, there is at least a 5-to-1 ratio of positive to negative interactions.  As this ratio drops, he says, the risk for divorce increases.

So what are some of the “divorce predictors”–or the types of red flags that can be found in a couple’s marriage?   Some studies identify marriages according to five different communication styles, with the “pursuer Distancer” Style posing the “highest risk” for divorce.  Here, one member, typically the wife, raises problems, while the partner either dismisses them or refuses to talk about them.  In the middle of the spectrum–posing as a “high risk” for divorce–is the “Operatic” marriage style, characterized by cycles of tumultuous fighting and making up.  Near the bottom is the “Cohesive Individual” style where couples share responsibilities, autonomy and view marriage as a refuge.  These marriages are “low risk” for divorce.

Of course, researchers also considered such factors as the age when each partner married, the presence of children, and the potential of a financial or mid-life crisis. They found that nearly half of all divorces occur within the first seven years.  However, in the end, professionals seemed to agree that perhaps the most important way for a couple to stay married is to maintain positive communication channels throughout their marriage.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

There are two main formulas that states use to determine how much the noncustodial parent must pay. Illinois currently uses the “percentage of income” formula, which requires the noncustodial parent to pay a flat percentage of his or her income, depending on how many children he or she is supporting. Illinois is one of only ten states to use this formula.. Divorce lawyers in Illinois have been using this formula since it has been in use since the 1980′s.

Virtually all other states use the “income shares” formula, which tries to approximate how much it would cost to jointly raise a child, and ensure that the child is supported by that amount of money. The formula then balances out how much money each parent earns, and the noncustodial parent pays the difference between what the custodial parent makes, and how much total money should be spent on the child. The formula could further adjust for how much time the noncustodial parent spends raising the child.

Proponents of the change suggest that the “income shares” formula is fair both to mothers and fathers: by focusing on how much it should cost to raise a child and balancing the cost between the parents based on how much money they earn, each parent is theoretically paying his or her fair share. Opponents argue that by switching to the new system it would be very expensive to implement these changes, and wouldn’t create much, if any, change for parents already paying child support.

The proposal is in its earliest stages right now– a committee is determining whether to submit a proposal to the Illinois General Assembly. Even if the proposal is accepted and passed right away, it likely would not take effect until several years from now. Even though this could take place in the future,  this is major change to the way child support operates in Illinois and it is important to stay current on proposed changes to the law.

Be sure to check in at my blog to track the progress of this proposal or call me with questions.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

The Illinois Department of Revenue has recently confirmed that couples in civil unions will be able to jointly file their taxes in 2012. Although the state’s Civil Union bill took effect last June, it has remained unclear whether couples in civil unions would be able to file taxes together. The Department of Revenue’s initial policy was to require couples in civil unions to file separately, because there might be confusion due to the inability to jointly file federal tax returns.  Many gay rights advocates have applauded the change.

As I’ve discussed before, the tax implications of a relationship status are among the most important real-world benefits of civil unions. Filing jointly often allows for couples to get more deductions than filing separately, and usually results in paying less tax overall. It’s important to remember, however, that couples in civil unions can only jointly file for their Illinois state tax returns.  The Defense of Marriage Act bars couples in civil unions from jointly filing their federal taxes as “spouses.”

This somewhat complicated system is a reminder that it’s always helpful to consult with a tax adviser and/or family lawyer to navigate the nuances of taxes and other legal issues with your civil union.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago.

In a recently issued opinion, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that “deadbeat” parents facing jail time for failure to pay child support aren’t automatically entitled to an attorney.  In the case, Turner v. Rogers, the father claimed he couldn’t afford either his child support payments or an attorney to defend himself in the case against him. Despite his claims, Mr. Turner was sentenced to a year in jail for “civil contempt”.

This was an interesting, but common, situation.  The threat of civil contempt of court is often used in cases where a parent required to pay child support fails to pay. However, in these cases the sentencing of a parent to jail is appropriate only where a court finds that the paying parent has the ability to meet his obligation, but refuses to do so.  Contempt is not intended to be a punishment in situations where the parent lacks the resources to pay.

Normally, if one is charged with a crime and he or she is unable to pay for an attorney the court will appoint one.  The Constitution guarantees that.  But Mr. Turner wasn’t charged with a crime, he was accused of “civil contempt”.  The difference is subtle, but powerful.

The Supreme Court justices said that Mr. Turner did not have an automatic right to a lawyer to defend against “civil contempt”.  But some of the justices said that Mr. Turner should have gotten some kind of protection, even though it didn’t have to be a lawyer.  For instance, a court cannot sentence a parent to jail without reviewing the amount of child support the parent owes to make sure he or she can actually pay it. This makes sense, as the purpose of civil contempt is to force those who are able to pay, not punish those who cannot afford it. Since Mr. Turner’s claim that he could not afford his child support was not considered, his jail sentence was overturned.

There are two important lessons learned from this important update to family law: First, if a parent is obligated to pay child support and can no longer afford to pay because of a job loss, reduced hours or otherwise, the parent needs to go back to court to request a new child support order.  Second, if a parent is entitled to child support and is not receiving it, there are tools in place such as “civil contempt” that can help the parent get the money he or she is entitled to.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

The historic day that Illinois’ civil union bill took effect this past June; a slightly less well-known bit of history took place.  A same sex Illinois couple, previously married in Quebec, filed for Illinois’ same sex divorce.  With the passage of the law, same sex couples were afforded not only the right to enter into civil unions, but also the right to legally dissolve their relationships.  Perhaps it’s not as glamorous a right as some that same sex couples now enjoy in Illinois, but it is certainly important.

This new type of divorce case in Illinois is a perfect example of how important the right to divorce can be for same sex couples.

Dr. Frederick and Mr. Bayer lived in Peoria, having moved there so Frederick could take a job as an emergency room physician.  As reported, the couple divided their labor as many partners do. Frederick worked at the hospital while Bayer maintained their home and cared for their son.  Previously Bayer had a career as an emergency care nurse.

While it is often a difficult decision for one to put his or her professional career on hold to support a spouse or children, imagine doing so without the knowledge that one may be entitled to maintenance (alimony), child support, and a fair division of assets should the relationship end.  Prior to the civil union law, that is what Illinois same sex couples had to do.

Though it comes with little fanfare, this type of divorce might be one of the most important rights that same sex couples now enjoy in Illinois.  Relationships that do not work out for whatever reason need to come to a fair and equitable end.  And while the thousands of newly civilly united couples in Illinois will work hard to foster healthy relationships, it is crucial that they have the same legal safety net that is available to married heterosexual couples.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

Author Jackie Pilossoph

This blog is a reprint from http://bit.ly/t9Xpv1 by Jackie Pilossoph.

Several years ago, when I first decided to consult a divorce attorney, I was referred to a woman by a friend. I went to see her for a consultation in her posh downtown office, and when I first laid eyes on her, I was intimidated beyond. She looked more like a supermodel and she had on this dress that was literally up to her mid-thigh. I tried really hard not to judge or draw any conclusions before getting to know her.

During our half hour meeting, however, things tumbled downhill. To put it bluntly, the woman was a huge biatch. Sorry, just being honest. I kept thinking to myself, “any judge would hate this woman! I would never win one motion if she was representing me!” She was very cocky and showed no compassion for my situation. I was fighting back tears the entire time.

I’m not saying a person’s divorce attorney should act like their therapist, but I do think the attorney has to have a likeable way about him or her, and have a human side. People going through a divorce are extremely vulnerable and as for myself, my self-assurance was about as low as it had ever been. So, if I can offer any advice to people going through a divorce, I’d tell them that when choosing an attorney, you seriously have to LOVE him or her, TRUST him or her and feel comfortable enough to tell them VERY personal things. I ended up getting a great attorney and was very happy with my decision, but that’s not what this blog is about.

I wanted to write about Michael Craven, who I recently met, who’s a divorce attorney with one of the best firms in the city. I asked Michael some questions that I thought might help people who are recently separated. Here’s what he said:

Why did you decide to specialize in divorce?

I actually wanted to be and was a tax attorney. After starting a firm a few years after graduating law school, we were getting some divorce cases. Since I had done an internship during law school for a legal clinic handling family law and domestic violence cases, coupled with the fact that my dad was an attorney who had knowledge of family law, I was selected as the go to person for divorce cases. Eventually, I started getting more and more cases and I liked the area. It was enjoyable and rewarding to work for people rather than companies. I also liked going to court, which was something I rarely did as a tax/corporate attorney.

Have you seen a lot of women in tears while going through the process? Tell me about that and how it makes you feel.

Truthfully, I see a lot of people, men and woman, in tears or on the verge of them. It is never easy seeing someone in pain. When I can actually help them understand the process and get them through it, they feel better and so do I.

What’s the best thing about your job?

Helping people getting through one of their most stressful and difficult times is very rewarding. After their divorce, many clients seek me out over the years just to run by various legal issues, both about and unrelated to their divorces. I like being able to become a trusted advisor for my past clients. Other benefits are that the job is never boring, every day is different and I work with many great people.

What’s the worst thing about your job?

Since clients are depending upon me to help them with very substantial decisions that affect the security of their lives, and often the lives of others such as their children, the rewards of my job come with a lot of stress.

What’s most important to you when it comes to your client?

Helping them make smart decisions, rather than getting distracted by things they cannot materially change and by emotions that are not productive.

What three tips do you have to give a woman who just got separated, in regards to legal advice?

1. Educate yourself about the process. Although family and friends may have lots of advice and information, get your education from professionals who know what they are talking about and how it applies to your particular case.
2. Keep your eye on the prize. Although that may mean different things for different people, try to make those smart decisions that promote a rational settlement rather than a fight for the sole purposes of a fight.
3. Keep your children out of the case.

Although you asked for only 3, here is a 4^th: Stay healthy by being active, being around positive people getting enough rest, and eating well.

Michael seems like a great guy and someone I’d trust to represent me or recommend to someone. He also has a blog that has lots of helpful information: http://www.divorcelawyerschicago.org/

So much time has passed since I got divorced, but I still call my divorce attorney and ask questions from time to time. He always takes my call and he even came to my first book signing!

To anyone who’s going through a divorce, hang in there. It’s a brutal time but you will get through it. For sure get a therapist, and surround yourself with lots of good friends and family. Work out a lot and focus on getting the life you want. Your NEW life. And…make sure you get the right attorney.

Jackie Pilossoph has a Masters Degree in Journalism. She’s the author of the novels Jackpot! and Hook, Line and Sink Him, and a freelance magazine writer and weekly columnist for The Glenview Announcements. Pilossoph is a single mother and lives in Chicago.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce  attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce  Lawyers Chicago

Many disagree with the central thesis of the study, claiming instead that the stability of a household, as it relates to children, is really about the quality of the adults’ relationship, not the status of that relationship. For instance, Ann Schranz of the Alternatives to Marriage Project believes that a poor relationship between the adults is really what can prove damaging for children, whether or not the parents are married.

As in most things, there seems to be a bit of truth on all sides. The emotional, psychological, and legal bonds of marriage may keep married couples together longer than couples who are cohabiting. There may be something to be said for the stability of marriage and its impact on a child’s development. On the other hand, a stable but toxic relationship among parents is certainly not better for the children, whether they are married or just living together.

Lauren Sandler brings up an interesting point in a piece about the study she wrote for Slate: the structure of a child’s home might have implications outside the home. Peers might ostracize children of a nontraditional family.  They may not understand family structures different from their own. This may be true of all sorts of family structures including cohabitation, single parent homes, half-siblings or step-siblings living in the same home.

Whatever the merits of the study on cohabitation’s effects on child development, discussions focusing on how to help children develop in healthy environments can only lead to positive results.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

Second marriages have a reputation for being shorter and more fragile than first marriages. However, this doesn’t seem to be the case based on a report from the Census Bureau called “Marital Events of Americans: 2009.”

When it comes to second marriage and divorce, there are certainly more difficulties starting out. These include children and stepchildren, alimony payments, and baggage from the first marriage. Yet, the marriages themselves don’t seen to be any more doomed from the beginning.

The WSJ article suggests this is because people have taken the time to learn from the mistakes of their first marriage. Whether it was their spouse who wanted the divorce or not, it almost always takes two to break up a marriage.  For those embarking on a second marriage, understanding their role in the breakdown of the first marriage can lead to a stronger second marriage free of the behavior that may have caused the divorce in the first place.

Before rushing into a second relationship, psychiatrists suggest it’s important to understand what they are looking for, and what went wrong in the first marriage.  Taking the time to deal with and acknowledge mistakes can help people avoid repeating the events of their first marriage.

When going through a divorce, it can seem impossible to think you may one day find yourself at the alter again. If you do, make sure you’ve taken the time to analyze your past relationship and be ready to embark on the new one free from the same problems.

Do you want to continue the conversation?  Follow me on Facebook and Twitter, or email me.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce  attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly  respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also  holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his  services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago