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Michael C. Craven’s Tips for Helping Kids Survive Divorce

By on May 15th, 2013

Children and Divorce

When it comes to handling the legal aspects of your divorce, you’ll be hard pressed to find a stauncher advocate than me.  I know just how difficult the process can be, and no one will work harder to help you through it.  Unfortunately, one of the bigger problems with divorce is what it can do to any children involved; they’ve spent their entire lives with married parents, and now that’s been turned upside down. While I can’t fix that problem, I managed to do a little research to provide you with some tips on how to help guide your kids through this most stressful time.

 Be Positive

Moods are contagious, and if you act like the divorce is the end of the world, it will be for your kids.   Make sure your children know that as bad as they might feel now, they will get through this.  

Make sure your children have a strong support system

Your kids will be going through a lot, and it will help a great deal if they have a strong support structure around them; peers, extended family, school counselors and teachers.

 Keep the lines of communication open

Your children may be angry at the situation; help them to discuss this anger and to understand why their parents are splitting up. Make sure the answers are age appropriate, using children’s books if necessary.  And make sure they know that they can always come to you with any questions.

Present a united front

Refrain from arguing in front of your children, as doing so will increase stress.   Explain to your children that the two of you worked together to make the decision that was the best possible for the family.

Consistency is key

A divorce takes the only life a child has ever known and changes it up.   Try to maintain as set a schedule as you can, so your children will have that to count on.

Do something for yourself

If you’re not happy, your children will sense that and will reflect it. Make sure that your own mental health is strong as you watch out for the mental health of your kids.  More importantly, don’t rely on your children for emotional support.

Of course, these tips are no substitute for trained psychological assistance, and if your mental health problems are too great, you should certainly seek professional help.

If you need representation in a divorce matter or in another aspect of family law, or if you just have questions, please feel free to contact me.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM).   Michael is available to provide speaking engagements on topics related to Illinois Family Law to professionals, community or religious organizations.  For more information about all of his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

 

 

 

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How to Choose a Divorce Lawyer in Chicago

By on April 30th, 2013

How to Choose a
Chicago Divorce Lawyer

The marriage may have been a disaster, but going through a divorce without an attorney can be even worse.  To help ensure that you will be treated fairly during the divorce process, it is important to find an experienced divorce lawyer in Chicago.

An experienced divorce attorney will inform you of your legal rights and work to represent you and the best interests of your family.  Some divorces may be settled out of court, however, if your case does end up going to trial, it is in your best interest to be represented by an experienced and competent divorce lawyer.

1.  Get a recommendation from a family member or friend who has recently been through a divorce.  Someone who has personally dealt with the attorney can give you first-hand information. Is the lawyer responsive and trustworthy?  Did the divorce attorney keep your friend up-to-date on information as the case progressed?

2.  Your lawyer should have experience in all areas of Illinois family law, including property division, divorce cases, child custody and child support (if you have children), and accounting and tax law, which will aid in the litigation involving both custody and financial issues.

3.  Schedule a consultation and find an attorney with whom you have a good rapport.  This should be a compatible relationship.  Seek someone whose personality fits the type of divorce you are expecting to have.  Do you need an assertive fighter or a skilled mediator?

4.  When you go for your consultation, have a list of questions ready.  How long has the attorney been practicing?  How many cases has the lawyer handled?  Is he accomplished in this particular field?  What percentages of his cases go to trial?  How long will the entire process take?

5.  Choose an attorney you can afford.  Discuss the potential costs including the amount of the retainer and how you will be billed.

To find out what you must know about divorce in Chicago, contact me today.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM).   Michael is available to provide speaking engagements on topics related to Illinois Family Law to professionals, community or religious organizations.  For more information about all of his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

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Michael Craven Presenting at Divorce University

By on April 18th, 2013

The Lilac Tree

The Lilac Tree
Divorce University

As a Chicago Divorce Attorney, I am honored to, once again, be presenting at the Lilac Tree’s upcoming Divorce University on Sunday, April 21, 2013 at the Hilton Garden Inn in Evanston, Illinois.  My presentation will be from 2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. and is  titled, Financial Panel – Know Your Finances.  I will also be available for questions during the Breakout – Financial Q & A session from 3:00 p.m. until 4:00 p.m.

The Lilac Tree is a resource and a haven for women contemplating divorce, in the process or post-decree.  Their mission is to provide education, support and guidance to women in the divorce process, so that they can move confidently towards independence.  Located in Evanston, Illinois, the Lilac Tree is an unique organization for women of the Chicagoland area addressing the many areas that women face in divorce.  Their services range from no charge to very modest fees.  Partial scholarship assistance is available.

The Lilac Tree’s Divorce University – The Law, Your Finances, Your Family

Sunday, April 21, 2013

8:30 a.m. – 4:15 p.m.

Hilton Garden Inn, Evanston, Illinois

Feel free to forward this information to anyone you know who might benefit from attending this all day workshop.  For more information, feel free to contact me at 312-621-9700 or mccraven@beermannlaw.com.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM).   Michael is available to provide speaking engagements on topics related to Illinois Family Law to professionals, community or religious organizations.  For more information about all of his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

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Technology Easing Difficulties in Joint Custody Cases

By on March 28th, 2013

Joint Custody Websites

Since my early days as an Illinois family law attorney and a Chicago divorce lawyer, I have seen a great change in the way child custody issues are resolved in divorce proceedings.  Today, joint legal custody and joint physical custody of a child is increasingly common.  This essentially means that both parents have a greater involvement in the decision making and physical upbringing of their child.  This has not always been the case.

While joint custody can be beneficial to divorced spouses and a child of a divorce, it also represents an inherent problem.  The problem lies in the fact that joint custody requires divorced spouses to actually communicate with one another on important matters pertaining to their child.  Divorced spouses, however, are often not regularly open to amicable communications.  A partial solution to this problem may exist via our current technology.

E-mails, Texts, and Online Calendars

Joint child custody requires divorced parents to take an active role in the raising of their child.  As mentioned, this requires communication.  Face-to-face communications among divorced spouses, however, can often grow quarrelsome and hostile.  Detached communications often work far better and work well at minimizing emotions and stress.

This is where our current technology comes in.  It is fair to assume that most spouses are familiar with e-mails, texts, and online calendars.  Divorced spouses can utilize these resources to foster a better means of communication to address their child’s needs, such as scheduling, drop-off times, pick-up times, sick-day care, and expenses.  These resources can offer that communications are done electronically or remotely.  Electronic or remote communications allow divorced parents to exchange words and thoughts without the added stress and emotion that is often associated with personal, or face-to-face communications.

Website Support

If electronic or remote communications fail, there are several websites today devoted to improving the communications and planning among divorced spouses, such as Our Family Wizard.com, cofamilies.com or cozi.com.  These are essentially a third party software systems and data banks that help divorced families co-parent with less friction. These types of websites give divorced parents access to a host of online tools that allow them to schedule and track parenting time, share important family information and expenses, and to communicate in a clearer and more efficient manner.

Joint child custody should be a good thing.  It benefits parents and children alike. Our current technological resources might provide the help that makes a difference to successful joint custody.  Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions on how to improve your joint custody arrangements.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

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What if a Business Couple Gets Divorced?

By on March 6th, 2013

Divorce and Business

Many couples go into business together. They make plans to make the business successful, but what they don’t plan for is divorce. With the high divorce rate, it is inevitable that some couples that go into business together will eventually get divorced.

What are these couples to do? There are 4 obvious options: continue running the business together, close the business, sell the business or let one spouse gain full ownership of it completely. Financially, continuing the business may be best for both spouses. It isn’t going to be easy, but there are ways to work together peacefully. Here are some ground rules if you ever find yourself in this exact situation.

  1. Respect each other. When continuing to work together, respect is of the upmost importance. Often times when divorce is involved, anger and bitterness can take over and muddy your attitude toward your former spouse. However, negative feelings must be checked at the business door if you are going to keep the business successful.
  2. Have an agreement. When shareholders enter into a business together, they typically sign an agreement that spells out the terms. Married business owners often skip this step. Once you are divorced, divorce lawyers will recommend having an agreement in case one partner should decide to leave the business. It will help tremendously if you know how you plan to split everything.
  3. Don’t get employees involved. It may be natural for your employees to want to pick sides in your divorce, especially if it is a messy divorce. Be upfront with your employees and let them know what is going on. This can help eliminate, or at least lessen, the workplace gossip. Reassure your staff that your issues are being resolved and being dealt with accordingly, and they have nothing to fear about their positions in the business.

These 3 ground rules can dramatically alter the way your business is run after a divorce. They can help you continue to work together and make the business successful, especially if it is a messy break-up. If you own a business, are going through a divorce and need legal help, call me at (312) 621-1230 for help with divorce papers and any other legal documents. As both a CPA and an attorney, I can help you sift through the situation.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

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Preparing for a Deposition: Divorce Litigation

By on February 12th, 2013

Divorce Litigation -
Deposition Preparation

If you are going through a divorce in Illinois, you may be subject to a deposition.  In other terms, it’s called being deposed. A deposition is a tool used by divorce lawyers to gather information about the issues involved in your divorce.  An oath for you to tell the truth will be administered. Your spouse’s attorney will ask you questions and a court reporter will be transcribing your responses. It usually is scheduled at one of the attorney’s offices. Your spouse, his or her attorney and your attorney will be present. The judge does not attend the deposition. Most depositions last no longer than three hours.  It is unlikely that anyone would ever call a deposition a good time – but with the following information we can make it easier for anyone going through the process.

So, why is a deposition even necessary? Your spouse’s (opposing) counsel will take your deposition for three main reasons:

  • To determine your personal knowledge of the facts and issues in the case.  In other words, it is to learn your version of the matters involved in the divorce and what you will say in court.
  • To lock you in to a specific set of facts so that you will have to tell the same version in court.
  • To potentially catch you in a lie in an attempt to persuade the court that you are not a truthful person and therefore your testimony (what you say in court under oath) should not be believed on any of the points, particularly the crucial ones.

Being in a room with a bunch of divorce lawyers, your soon-to-be ex and a court reporter may not feel comfortable and it is normal to feel anxious. Keep your cool – take a deep breath and remember the following:

  • Listen to the question – carefully.  Now – read below.
  • Only answer the question asked.  Do not volunteer information.
  • Just the facts please. Give the facts, as you know them. Do not speculate or guess. It’s better to say that you don’t know – if you don’t know.
  • Don’t explain or justify your answer.  The facts are what they are.
  • Although it’s tempting – Do not argue with opposing counsel. He is not on trial – you are. Emotional responses may not reflect the truth of the matter and may make you appear out of control or irrational.
  • Take a moment. Think about your answer. There is no need to respond quickly. The deposition will be scheduled for 3 hours – answering quickly will not make the process go any faster.
  • If you don’t understand – say so. You are allowed to request that the question be repeated or rephrased.
  • Did you hear the one about the attorney who…..? NO JOKES – Please.  Humor or sarcasm will not translate on the written page. It will only hurt you. Think about emails and texts – it is difficult to convey emotion. It’s the same with depositions.  A deposition is serious business – remember that. 
  • Tell the truth and only the truth.  A lie or concealing fact will hurt you more than a truth that may not seem favorable. A truth can be explained – lies cannot.
  • Finally – After the deposition – Do not chat with opposing counsel. They are not your friends. Do not allow good manners to cause you to drop your guard.

A deposition sounds unnerving. Remember the information above and you will be fine. If you have any questions about depositions or other matters relating to divorce litigation – please feel free to contact me.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

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Who Keeps Season Sport Tickets in Divorce?

By on January 30th, 2013

Who Keeps Season Tickets
in Divorce?

With Super Bowl upon us, I would like to discuss the subject of “Season Tickets and Divorce.”   While this may seem like a trivial issue at first, the question over which spouse ends up keeping the family’s season tickets from a divorce settlement is actually a serious matter.   Obviously, the price of tickets to games and events can be very costly.  But just as important, a couple that owns season tickets to a sporting event or venue often views these “seats” as family “property.”  As a Chicago divorce attorney, I believe that what happens to this property, or these assets, should be a careful consideration of anyone going through a divorce.

What exactly are the types of season tickets?  Different kinds of season tickets involve different types of contracts between the ticket holder and the club or organization.    Basically, there are two kinds of season tickets: Permanent Seat License (also called PSL) and Non-Permanent Seat License (or Non-PSL) tickets.  Some club franchises such as the Chicago Bears have both PSL and non-PSL tickets, while others have only one type.

Permanent Seat Licenses are purchased in exchange for a one-time fee.  They give the license holder permanent control of the rights to buy season tickets for a specific seat or seats. This means that the current season ticket holder has the right to transfer or sell the PSL.   In the case of the Chicago Bears, the organization requests that if a current holder wants to sell their license directly to someone else, that he or she should do so through the Bears PSL Marketplace.  In general, if a seat license holder decides not to sell their seat license (or licenses) and they do not renew their season tickets, then the holder forfeits the license back to the team or organization.

Non-PSL tickets do not require a license fee and are non-transferrable.   To use the example of the Bears again, fans must join the Chicago Bears Season Ticket Priority List to obtain future tickets as they become available.  This involves sending a nonrefundable deposit of $100 per seat to the Bears.  Once a fan receives his or her tickets, the $100 fee will be applied to the first-year purchase price of the tickets.

If you are an avid sports fan, and Chicago is one of the top sports markets in the country, you certainly might want to know about the types and availability of season tickets.   The Bears offer both PSL and non-PSL season tickets for its fans. On the other hand, the Chicago White Sox and the Chicago Blackhawks do not provide PSL holdings, although season ticket holders are allowed to renew their tickets each year.  The Sox also permit fans to add a second name as a ticket holder; however, succession of tickets cannot occur.

Regardless of the kind of season tickets you buy or possess, it is important to read the entire contract carefully to understand your legal rights. It is especially important to understand the succession of these “holdings” should you be considering a divorce.  If you have any questions concerning changes in your marital status and your tickets, please contact me.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

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Surviving Your Divorce – 10 Ways To Get Started (Part Two)

By on January 17th, 2013

Surviving Your Divorce
Part Two

My last post included different ideas to start moving your life forward during or after your divorce. Life as you have known it has changed – maybe for the better. Still, it’s easy for your world to become pretty narrow when you have the stress of divorce on your shoulders. Here is the second part of my article on how to ease back into your life and establish new connections and beginnings.

6.     Sleep.  Even sleep may not be easy – but you need it. Limit any type of electronics an hour before bed. Put the laptop away.  No emails. No texting. No TV. Put yourself in a technology time-out

7.  Create. Your new life. Make a goal board. Starting over can provide new opportunities. Visualize your future.

8.  Don’t speak badly about your spouse. No one wants to hear it and in the end – it won’t make you feel any better to say it. Your time is better spent exercising or speaking positively about the good things in your life.  If you have children – your spouse is part of them and they will feel terrible if they hear it. Keep adult conversations away from your kids. Your job is to protect them from this type of negativity – not take steps to expose them to it. You may say something out of anger and forget about it – but they won’t.

9.  Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Whether it was choosing the wrong spouse or not investing in the marriage. Learn from it – and then move forward.

10.  Focus on the good in your life – Every day is a gift. Gain perspective.  As bad as your situation may be or feel – there are probably millions of people in this world that would trade problems with you. Live. Breathe. And if you can – laugh.

There is life after divorce – and you don’t have to wait until the divorce papers are signed to start taking care of yourself and building your future – whether it is walking around the block, using social media, or traveling around the world.  Opportunities await you.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

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Surviving Your Divorce – 10 Ways To Get Started, Part One

By on December 18th, 2012

Surviving Divorce
Part One

No one is immune from the challenges of divorce.  Experiencing the emotions that result from the breakdown of a marriage is no easy task – even in the best of situations. Hopefully – you are on the road to a better life.

The process of divorcing may be lengthy. It will likely feel more like a marathon than a sprint. Don’t wait for a divorce to be final before living your life the best way possible. Every day is precious – especially if you have children.  You – and they – can never get this time back. Do your best to make it count and live well.  Here is the first portion in my two part series of how to get started.

  1. Restart your social life. If you aren’t already one of the 5 billion people using social media to network – it’s time.  It is a solid avenue to reconnecting with old friends and making new ones – and it is appropriate for all ages.  Just keep the photos, posts and comments tasteful and you are fine.
  2. Thinking about restarting or recharging your professional life? Perhaps you have been out of the workforce or you need to think about career changes for the future. This is not necessarily the time for any major moves – but a good time to start networking. Reach out to former and current colleagues. Go through your contacts and get back in circulation. In today’s job climate – everyone is interested in networking. If you are not currently employed, order business cards printed with your name, cell and email account to hand out when reconnecting.   Contact your college or graduate school and receive information about alumni events. Enroll in webinars to stay current in your field. Dust off the resume and make it look fresh.
  3. Don’t talk divorce.  Have one friend – or even better – a therapist to discuss your divorce experience. People may listen for a week or two – but they have lives and problems too and can’t deal with yours on a regular basis.  When asked how you are doing – have a positive response prepared. It may be difficult to say you are fine or great. Instead, you may wish to say, “I am on the right path.”  Then move on.  You are what you speak. Talking about your divorce will leave you feeling drained and can lead you away from your new goals.  If you do want to meet someone new – no one will want to introduce you if all you can discuss is your divorce.
  4. Take some time to breathe every day.  Find some time in the morning just to breathe – even if you can only take 10 minutes.  The rewards will be worth getting up a little earlier. Take a walk. Water your plants. Sit on your front steps. Hit tennis balls against your garage.  Whatever works for you.  Make time for quiet reflection to set the tone for a calm (or at least calmer) day. There may be times that getting through the day is all you can accomplish.  That’s okay. Don’t place too much pressure on yourself and try to recognize your strengths.
  5. Move. No, not to another country. Move your body. Yoga. Swim. Take the stairs. Dance. Walk during your lunch.  Reduce your stress.

Start with the first five suggestions – see if they add some positivity to your life. Another five to come soon!

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

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When to Consider a Prenuptial Agreement

By on December 3rd, 2012

Prenuptial Agreements

A prenuptial agreement, also known as a premarital agreement, is a contract between two people who are to be married. A “prenup” typically spells out what each person owns, as well as owes, and what their property rights will be in the event of death or divorce. Many people assume that a prenup is merely a precursor to divorce, and that having a prenup is setting you up for a meeting with a divorce lawyer in Chicago. According to experts, this is not true at all. Here are some of the benefits of having a prenup, and when you should consider having one.

Benefits of a Prenuptial Agreement:

Prenuptial agreements can protect the assets of both parties entering into a marriage. Whether you have a high net worth, or even something of lesser value, a prenup has many benefits such as:

  1. Defining all property as either separate or marital
  2. Influencing trusts and wills

When You Should Consider a Prenup:

As a Chicago divorce attorney, I believe there are times when you should definitely have a prenup in place before you get married. Among those times are:

  1. When one partner comes into the marriage with assets they want to protect in the event of divorce.
  2. When you are remarrying. When you enter into a subsequent marriage, the financial and legal stipulations may be different from your first marriage. There may be child support, alimony or other assets from the previous marriage that may come into play.
  3. When one partner has a lot of debt. If your partner has a lot of financial debt, you do not want to be responsible for it if you should get divorced.
  4. When one partner owns a part or whole business, you may want to provide stipulations for that business.

A prenuptial agreement has many benefits for a married couple. Entering into a marriage with a prenup in place can protect the assets of both partners. If you are looking for a Chicago divorce attorney to help you write a prenup, or even look over an existing one, contact me.

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at mccraven@beermannlaw.com or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago

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