As divorce attorneys in Chicago, we have seen countless cases where the way spouses conduct themselves during a divorce makes a profound difference—both in their emotional recovery and in their final legal outcome. Divorce is never easy. Emotions often run high, and it can be tempting to let anger or resentment dictate decisions. However, under Illinois law, those who maintain civility and cooperation often end up with stronger legal positions, faster resolutions, and more favorable settlements. Taking the high road does not mean giving up your rights—it means asserting them intelligently and with dignity.
When clients focus on fairness and respect, they often find that their stress level decreases and their ability to make sound legal decisions improves. Illinois divorce courts, under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, are guided by principles of equity, fairness, and the best interests of children. A cooperative attitude demonstrates to the court that you are serious about resolving disputes responsibly and are acting in good faith.
The Legal Advantages Of Civility Under Illinois Divorce Law
Under 750 ILCS 5/401, Illinois is a “no-fault” divorce state, which means the court grants a dissolution of marriage based on irreconcilable differences rather than proving wrongdoing. By staying respectful and solution-focused, you show the court you are aligned with the law’s intent—to move forward fairly, not to punish your spouse.
Similarly, when dividing property, 750 ILCS 5/503 directs the court to divide marital assets equitably. The word “equitably” does not mean “equally”; it means fairly based on factors such as contributions, earning potential, and the needs of each spouse. Judges pay close attention to each party’s conduct throughout the proceedings. Spouses who cooperate and comply with disclosure requirements typically gain credibility and respect, which can influence the court’s perception in discretionary matters such as what constitutes an equitable division of your property.
How Taking The High Road Benefits Parents And Children
When children are involved, the emotional tone of the divorce process can have lasting consequences. Under 750 ILCS 5/602.5 and 602.7, the court allocates parental responsibilities and parenting time in accordance with the child’s best interests. The statute lists factors such as each parent’s willingness to encourage a close relationship with the other parent. If one parent consistently displays hostility or tries to alienate the children, it can damage their standing before the court.
Conversely, when parents take the high road—communicating respectfully and prioritizing the children’s needs—they help preserve family stability. Judges often favor collaboratively created parenting plans because they reduce court involvement and demonstrate that the parents can co-parent effectively. Maintaining composure, even when the other party does not, protects both your emotional well-being and your parental rights.
Emotional Strength Leads To Better Legal Decisions
Taking the high road during a divorce also means choosing emotional stability over revenge. Illinois courts encourage mediation under 750 ILCS 5/602.10, which allows couples to resolve parenting disputes outside the court system. Those who come prepared with calm reasoning and a willingness to compromise are more likely to reach agreements that reflect their true interests.
We have seen how emotional restraint allows our clients to think clearly about their long-term goals, such as keeping the family home, protecting retirement assets, or ensuring a parenting schedule that fits their lifestyle. Anger-driven decisions, on the other hand, can lead to unnecessary litigation and financial loss. Maintaining professionalism throughout the process communicates to the court and to your spouse that you are a credible, trustworthy participant in the legal process.
Courts Notice Your Conduct
Illinois judges have significant discretion in determining outcomes such as maintenance under 750 ILCS 5/504. When deciding whether to award spousal support and how much, judges may influenced by each party’s conduct during the case. A spouse who complies with discovery requests, meets deadlines, and avoids unnecessary conflict often gains judicial favor and credibility. Moreover, uncooperative conduct can increase court costs and delay finalization.
Illinois Divorce FAQs
How Can Staying Civil Affect My Property Division In An Illinois Divorce?
Remaining civil demonstrates to the court that you are acting in good faith. Under 750 ILCS 5/503, judges divide marital property equitably, and they may view cooperative spouses as more credible. When one party withholds information or becomes combative, it can lead to sanctions or reduced credibility. Civility keeps negotiations open and can lead to settlements without protracted litigation, saving both time and money.
Can Poor Behavior Affect My Custody Or Parenting Time Rights?
Yes. Under 750 ILCS 5/602.5 and 5/602.7, courts consider each parent’s ability to facilitate a positive relationship between the child and the other parent. If you engage in hostility, deny visitation, or speak negatively about the other parent in front of your child, it may hurt your position. Demonstrating patience, cooperation, and emotional restraint often strengthens your standing when the court determines parenting time.
Does Being Polite Mean I Have To Give In During Negotiations?
Not at all. Taking the high road means asserting your rights respectfully. You can firmly protect your interests while avoiding aggressive tactics. The goal is to achieve fair results, not to escalate conflict. Attorneys can use Illinois law to ensure your rights are upheld while presenting your case with professionalism.
Why Is Emotional Control Important During Mediation?
Emotional control allows you to focus on your goals and present reasoned arguments. It also helps you maintain composure if discussions become tense. Mediators and judges often note which parties appear cooperative and level-headed, which can influence how future hearings are perceived.
Can Taking The High Road Help Me Move On After Divorce?
Yes. While legal results are important, emotional peace matters too. By choosing maturity over anger, you protect your mental health and make co-parenting easier. You also preserve relationships with extended family, colleagues, and friends. Emotional discipline leads to a smoother recovery after the case is over.
What Happens If My Spouse Refuses To Be Civil?
If the other party acts unreasonably, the best course is to let your attorney handle communications and document all interactions. Illinois judges notice when one side is trying to resolve matters fairly while the other is creating conflict. This behavior can affect rulings on many areas of your case, including attorneys’ fees or sanctions under 750 ILCS 5/508.
Contact Our Chicago Divorce Attorneys For Exceptional Representation
At the Law Offices of Michael C. Craven understands how emotionally charged a divorce can be. His Chicago divorce attorneys emphasize dignity and strategy in every case because we have seen how taking the high road delivers both emotional and legal benefits. Whether you are concerned about parenting plans, property division, or protecting your future stability, we can help you make decisions that align with both your rights and your long-term peace of mind.
Contact our Chicago divorce attorney today by calling (312) 621-5234 to schedule a free consultation. We represent clients throughout Chicago, Illinois, and the surrounding areas, providing compassionate, skilled representation at every stage of divorce.
