Divorce changes your family, but it does not have to weaken your relationship with your child. Many parents worry about keeping that bond strong after a marriage ends. Illinois law puts the child’s best interests first when deciding on parenting time and responsibilities. How you talk to your child, work with the other parent, and follow court orders can affect both your family and your divorce case. We encourage you to look past the current conflict and make choices that protect your long-term role in your child’s life.
Understanding Parental Responsibilities Under Illinois Law
Illinois law no longer relies primarily on traditional terms such as “custody” when determining which parent makes important decisions for a child. Instead, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act addresses the allocation of parental responsibilities.
Under 750 ILCS 5/602.5, Illinois courts allocate significant decision-making responsibilities according to the child’s best interests. These responsibilities may concern education, health care, religion, and extracurricular activities. A court may allocate particular responsibilities to one parent or divide them between both parents. Illinois law does not automatically require equal decision-making authority.
Your history as a parent matters when these decisions are made. Courts may look at how your child is adjusting to home, school, and community, each parent’s involvement in important decisions, how well the parents work together, the child’s needs, and other factors that affect the child’s well-being.
For this reason, we generally advise parents to remain involved with schools, medical appointments, activities, and other meaningful parts of their child’s life throughout the divorce whenever circumstances allow.
Protecting Your Parenting Time
Parenting time is also key to keeping a strong relationship with your child. Under 750 ILCS 5/602.7, courts decide parenting time based on what is best for the child. Illinois law assumes parents are fit unless there is evidence to prove otherwise, and courts should not limit parenting time unless the law requires it.
When deciding on parenting time, the court may look at what the parents want, the child’s wishes if appropriate, each parent’s past caregiving, how the child is adjusting at home and school, everyone’s health, the child’s needs, transportation issues, and whether each parent supports the child’s relationship with the other parent.
That last consideration can be especially important during a difficult divorce. Trying to damage the child’s relationship with the other parent may ultimately hurt your position as well as your child.
Keep Your Child Out Of The Conflict
Children should not become messengers, investigators, or participants in their parents’ divorce. We recommend avoiding conversations in which the child is asked to choose sides, provide information about the other parent’s household, or listen to criticism about the other parent.
This does not mean legitimate concerns should be ignored. If you believe your child is being neglected, abused, exposed to substance misuse, or placed in another dangerous situation, those issues may need to be presented to the court. There is an important difference, however, between raising a genuine child-safety concern and involving a child in ordinary marital conflict.
Under 750 ILCS 5/603.10, a court may impose restrictions on a parent’s parenting time when the evidence satisfies the statutory requirements for restrictions, including circumstances involving serious endangerment to the child’s physical, mental, moral, or emotional health. Restrictions can include supervision or other conditions designed to protect the child.
Follow Your Parenting Plan Carefully
Illinois parenting plans are intended to create predictable rules for raising children after separation or divorce. Under 750 ILCS 5/602.10, parents generally must submit proposed parenting plans within 120 days after service or filing of a petition involving allocation of parental responsibilities, subject to the statute’s provisions and exceptions. An agreed parenting plan must be written, signed, and submitted for court approval.
A parenting plan can address where the child spends time, transportation, holidays, communication, significant decisions, procedures for resolving disagreements, and other issues affecting the child.
Once a parenting arrangement has been incorporated into a court order, treating it casually can create problems. Arrive for exchanges when required. Return your child at the proper time. Follow communication provisions. Do not independently deny parenting time simply because you are angry with the other parent.
Illinois provides an expedited procedure for enforcement when allocated parenting time is violated. Under 750 ILCS 5/607.5, a parent may petition the court to enforce parenting time when the other parent fails to comply with the existing allocation judgment or parenting plan.
Document Problems Without Creating More Conflict
If disagreements develop, good documentation can be valuable. Keep accurate records of missed parenting time, late exchanges, significant communications, school involvement, medical appointments, and attempts to resolve parenting disputes.
Documentation should be factual rather than emotional. A short message stating what happened is generally more useful than a lengthy argument filled with accusations.
We also caution parents about text messages, emails, social media posts, and recorded communications. Material created during a stressful moment may later be reviewed by attorneys, evaluators, a guardian ad litem, or the court. Communicate as though anything you write could eventually become part of the case.
Be Consistent In Your Child’s Daily Life
Courts consider more than what parents say during litigation. A parent’s actual involvement in the child’s life can matter significantly.
Continue attending school events when appropriate. Know your child’s teachers, doctors, medications, extracurricular schedule, friends, and daily routines. Exercise the parenting time available to you. Create a stable home environment. Keep appropriate records of your involvement.
Consistency can help demonstrate that your request for meaningful parenting time or decision-making authority reflects your actual relationship with your child rather than a position taken only after divorce proceedings began.
Changes To Parenting Time May Require Court Action
Families change after divorce. Work schedules change, children grow older, schools change, and parenting arrangements that once worked may eventually become impractical.
Illinois law permits modification of parenting arrangements under certain circumstances. 750 ILCS 5/610.5 governs modification of parenting plans and allocation judgments. Among other provisions, Illinois law allows parenting time to be modified upon a qualifying showing of changed circumstances when modification is necessary to serve the child’s best interests.
Parents should be cautious about permanently changing a court-ordered schedule through an informal verbal agreement. If a substantial change is necessary, we can evaluate whether the existing order should be formally modified so that the legal arrangement reflects the child’s current circumstances.
Protecting Your Child Can Also Protect Your Case
One of the strongest approaches a parent can take during divorce is to consistently demonstrate that the child’s welfare comes before the conflict between the adults. That means honoring parenting time, communicating appropriately, maintaining involvement in the child’s life, following court orders, and addressing legitimate problems through proper legal channels.
The decisions made during a Chicago divorce can affect your relationship with your child long after the divorce judgment is entered. We can help parents understand how Illinois law applies to parental responsibilities, parenting time, parenting plans, enforcement disputes, and proposed modifications while working to protect the relationship that matters most.
Contact Our Chicago Divorce Lawyer To Protect What Matters Most
Divorce may end a marriage, but your responsibilities and relationship with your child continue. Decisions concerning parenting time, significant decision-making responsibilities, parenting plans, and communication between parents can influence your family for years. When disputes arise, acting strategically and remaining focused on your child’s best interests can protect both your legal position and your relationship with your child.
Michael C. Craven represents clients throughout the city of Chicago, Illinois, in divorce and family law matters. We can evaluate your circumstances, explain your rights under Illinois law, address parenting-time or parental-responsibility disputes, and work toward an arrangement that protects your continuing role in your child’s life. Contact our Chicago divorce lawyer today by calling (312) 621-5234 to schedule a free consultation.
