Tips For Managing Difficult Situations
When we represent clients in Chicago facing a high-conflict divorce, we know how emotionally draining and legally complex the process can become. Emotions run high, communication breaks down, and every issue—from property division to parenting time—can turn into a heated battle. Yet Illinois law provides structures and tools to manage conflict and protect your interests. By understanding these legal frameworks and following strategic approaches, you can reduce stress, avoid unnecessary expenses, and move forward with your life.
Understand Illinois Divorce Law And Your Rights
Under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA), marriages are dissolved on no-fault grounds (750 ILCS 5/401). Property is divided equitably (750 ILCS 5/503), meaning fairly but not always equally. Parenting responsibilities are resolved based on the child’s best interest, using factors listed in 750 ILCS 5/602.7. Knowing these statutes helps you set realistic expectations: you cannot demand a “50/50 split” of everything, nor will the court reward parental anger by changing custody without clear evidence.
Document Everything Rigorously
In high-conflict cases, facts win over emotions. We advise clients to keep meticulous records of communications, financial transactions, and parenting time attendances. Email and text archives, bank statements, and calendars showing who picked up the children when can become critical evidence. If your spouse makes threats or violates court orders, document dates, times, and witnesses. This documentation supports motions to modify or enforce orders.
Use Mediation And Collaborative Processes When Possible
Although conflict drives many to litigation, Illinois law encourages alternative dispute resolution. Under 750 ILCS 5/415, courts may order mediation to narrow disputes before trial. We often recommend voluntary mediation or a collaborative divorce approach. These methods keep you in control and foster solutions tailored to your family’s needs. Even if you cannot settle every issue, mediation can resolve smaller disputes, saving courtroom battles for only the most critical matters.
Control Communication And Emotions
High-conflict spouses often weaponize email, social media, or text. We counsel clients to communicate through attorneys whenever possible and to use a parenting app for scheduling and exchanges. Limiting direct contact reduces opportunities for provocation. When communication is required, stick to facts and court-ordered topics, avoiding accusations or inflammatory language. Remaining calm and professional reflects well on you in court.
Protect Your Financial Interests
Under 750 ILCS 5/503, marital property includes assets acquired during marriage. If your spouse hides assets or dissipates marital funds, you can investigate your spouse’s handling of money, file for injunctive relief to freeze accounts, maintain the status quo, and take other protective measures.
Prioritize Children’s Well-Being
Children suffer most in high-conflict divorces. The IMDMA’s parenting factors (750 ILCS 5/602.7) focus on stability, home environment, and the willingness to encourage the other parent’s relationship. We help clients propose a clear parenting plan—covering holiday schedules, exchanges, and decision-making—so the court sees you as child-focused rather than adversarial. If your spouse violates the plan, we file enforcement motions to hold them accountable.
Prepare Thoroughly For Court
When litigation is unavoidable, preparation is key. We gather and analyze information and evidence. We present your evidence in a polished and organized manner to help you obtain the best possible outcome.
Self-Care And Support Networks
Divorce stress can impact your health and work. While we manage your legal strategy, we encourage clients to seek counseling, join support groups, and lean on trusted friends or family. Taking care of yourself maintains your clarity and resilience, which in turn strengthens your case and sets a positive example for any children involved.
Divorce Frequently Asked Questions
What Grounds Can I Use To Modify Parenting Time In A High-Conflict Divorce?
Under 750 ILCS 5/610.5, you can generally request modification if there’s a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child’s welfare. One example that may qualify is frequent interference with your court-ordered parenting time, such as cancellations without cause. You must show the change affects the child’s best interest factors in 750 ILCS 5/602.7. Detailed documentation of each denial of access will be crucial to success.
How Do Courts Divide Marital Property When Emotions Are High?
Sections 503(a) and 503(b) of the IMDMA require marital property to be divided equitably. Courts consider each spouse’s contributions, duration of marriage, and economic circumstances. Equitable doesn’t mean equal; the judge may award more to the lower-earning spouse or reimburse a spouse who maintained a home while the other advanced their career. Demonstrating your non-monetary contributions—childcare, household management—can influence distribution.
Can I Enforce Spousal Support Orders During Divorce Proceedings?
Yes. temporary spousal support can be ordered under 750 ILCS 5/501 and 750 ILCS 5/504. Temporary maintenance (the legal term for spousal support or alimony) addresses a spouse’s needs and the other’s ability to pay, in line with factors such as earning capacity and property division. Establishing your financial hardship and your spouse’s resources may require financial affidavits, tax returns, bank and investment account statements, and more. Courts may hold payors in contempt if they fail to comply with temporary orders.
What Happens If My Spouse Hides Assets Or Income?
When asset or income concealment occurs, we use discovery tools and possibly experts such asforensic accountants to locate and trace money, income, and property.
Is Mediation Mandatory In Illinois Divorce Cases?
In some situations, a judge can order mediation for parenting issues and financial disputes. Even when not mandatory, mediation is highly encouraged because it often leads to faster, cost-effective resolutions. We prepare clients to enter mediation with clear proposals and realistic bottom lines, increasing the likelihood of settlement sessions that relieve courtroom pressure.
How Can I Prove My Spouse Is Interfering With Visitation?
Documentation is king. Save text messages, emails, and calendars showing canceled or delayed exchanges. If possible, record brief notes immediately after each incident, noting date, time, and reason given by your spouse. Witness affidavits—from relatives, friends, or childcare providers—can corroborate your claims. These records support enforcement motions and demonstrate a pattern to the court.
When Should I Seek Legal Counsel In A High-Conflict Divorce?
As soon as emotions begin to escalate or you fear retaliation, such as threats to take children or assets, contact divorce attorneys. Early counsel helps you file temporary orders, freeze assets, and set boundaries under court orders. The sooner you act, the more control you retain over the process and outcomes.
Call Michael C. Craven For Help With Your High-Conflict Divorce
High-conflict divorces require skilled guidance to protect your rights, finances, and children’s well-being. Michael C. Craven has for decades represented clients going through high conflict divorce cases throughout Chicago with dedication and clarity.
To schedule a consultation with our Chicago divorce lawyer, Michael C. Craven, please call our office at (312) 621-5234. Let us help you manage the conflict and move toward a stable, fair resolution.
